The Voice Of The Heart
by daughter of the fifth house
Summary: A space anomaly has a bad side effect: The crew loses their memories and the Enterprise gets damaged. While they try to put the pieces back together, Captain Jamie Kirk and Doctor Leonard McCoy feel drawn to each other and come to believe they're a couple. Well, they are not. But... things happen. What will they do when they remember who they are? (fem!Kirk/McCoy)
1. Chapter 1: Clueless

**Chapter 1: Clueless**

Author's note: This fic is inspired by the TNG episode "Conundrum", but there was an alien was responsible for the amnesia. I borrowed a few lines from the dialogues of Will Riker and Ro Laren for this fic (in a later chapter). Their interaction in said episode gave me the idea to see what would happen, if the memory loss happened to Jamie Kirk and Leonard McCoy.

Disclaimer: Star Trek is not mine. I'm just borrowing the characters and a few lines for this fic.

* * *

She woke up with headache, hanging over the armrest of a big chair in a bright room with many stations and a big window - no, some sort of view screen?

She groaned and glanced to the people around her, brushing her golden hair out of her face. Some were laying on the floor, others in chairs or bent over some computer consoles.

"Does anybody know what happened?" She carefully got up, but held the back of the chair to steady herself. "Or does anybody remember... well, who we are? I... oh boy, I don't remember my name."

Now she noticed yellow lights blinking. The others also did.

"I think this is an alarm", a tall man with black hair and pointed ears said. A Vulcan. He started to check the computer station right in front of him.

She nodded and realized that she didn't know who she was, but she recognized the alarm and knew about starship operations. Weird. "Computer, why are we on yellow alert?"

"It was triggered automatically due to an encounter with a space anomaly."

"Can you give us any details?" she asked.

"Negative. The computer core has been damaged. The sensor arrays are down and records of former scans are not available at this time."

She looked around questioningly if anyone had a suggestion.

"Vat now?" a young man, obviously sitting at the navigational station, asked with a Russian accent.

She sighed, but the Vulcan stepped closer.

"There appears to be no immediate danger if we can believe the systems that are currently working. In order to get the full function of the computer back we should dispatch some repair teams."

She nodded. "Yeah. The only catch is that we don't know who or where they are. If we don't have our memories and no one has gotten here so far, I'd guess that everyone is a little helpless and confused at the moment."

"Computer, is the intercom working?" a woman with dark skin and long dark hair in a pony tail asked.

"Affirmative", the computer voice answered.

"Shall I?" The dark skinned woman asked.

Everyone around her nodded.

She touched a few buttons and a whistle noise sounded. "Attention, crew of... uhm... this ship. This is the bridge. We are in some kind of predicament. We lost our memories and part of the computer functions. But there seems to be no danger at the moment. We are currently working on getting things sorted out. Please remain calm and where you are. If you are injured, please ask the computer to point you the way to the medical station. We will give you more information as soon as possible. Bridge out."

The Vulcan gestured towards the science station. "Perhaps we should find out now who we are."

The others nodded and gathered around him.

"Computer, can you give us a biographical listing of all personnel responsible for primary operation of the ship?" he asked.

"A full biographical listing is not available", was the answer.

"Is there any list of the ship's senior officers?" he tried again.

"The crew manifest is available."

He nodded. "Very well. Comupter, give us the crew manifest."

And the computer began to show pictures and data on the screen. One officer by one. " Commanding Officer: Captain Jamie Tiberia Kirk. Executive Officer and First Officer: Commander Spock. Operations and Helm Officer: Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu. Chief of Communications: Lieutenant Nyota Uhura. Chief Medical Officer: Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy. Chief Engineer: Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott. Security Chief: Lieutenant Michael Hendorff. Chief Navigator: Ensign Pavel Chekov."

Jamie Kirk sighed in relief. She had a name. And being the captain explained why she'd been in that chair when she'd regained consciousness. "Commander Spock, please have the other officers listed and not present at the moment report to the bridge."

"Yes, Captain."

She took a deep breath and sat down in the command chair. "Alright everybody, our priority will be to retrieve any information about this ship's mission. Also I'll need a damage report and we need to find out how exactly we lost our memories. Perhaps the CMO can figure a way out how to get them back."

"The weird thing is that I know how to operate my station", Hikaru Sulu said. "But I don't know anything about myself anymore."

Nodding all around.

Jamie got up and transferred the files the computer had shown them on a PADD. She read her own file first, then the others. Here and there she had a feeling of familiarity, but nothing jumpstarted her memories as she'd hoped.

The picture of the CMO however...

She stared at it and felt a strange flutter in her stomach. As if she knew him better - _differently_ \- than the others. But she couldn't really pinpoint that notion. She just felt happy seeing him.


	2. Chapter 2: Familiar Feelings

**Chapter 2: Familiar Feelings**

"So, I'm the Chief Engineer, hm?" Montgomery Scott nodded. "I thought so when I woke up next to the warp core."

"How is it looking down there?" Jamie asked.

"Could be worse. We're on it. The computer core on the other hand... that might take some time. The must have been hit by something. My guess would be an energy wave or something like that."

"Can we get the logs or more of the crew manifest? Anything maybe helping us?" the captain asked.

"Or anything that could help me solving that amnesia problem?" a voice sounded.

Jamie and the others turned around. A tall man stepped from the corridor through the door to the bridge. Leonard McCoy as she recognized from the files. And there was this flutter again. She felt somehow drawn to him.

"Doctor McCoy", she greeted him. Her eyes met his and she the feeling returned she had looking at his picture in his file. But even stronger. She had to really concentrate now.

"Sorry, couldn't make it earlier, Captain", Leonard said and tried to hide how startled he was by her beautiful cerulean eyes. "A lot of people got injured during whatever happened to us." He sighed. "Does anyone know what happened to us?"

Head shaking all around.

"Great", Leonard murmured. "Well, I ran some tests on a few crew members, but I haven't got the slightest clue what caused this collective amnesia. I need to know what this ship encountered in order to find out how it might have meddled with our brains. And I can't access the medical files. That's a problem, too."

"Can't you just treat us and try to get back our memories?" Jamie asked.

"Sure, if you want to end up with the IQ of an orange", Leonard remarked dryly and crossed his arms. He felt drawn to her and snappy at the same time.

"Okay", Sulu jumped in. "We've got at least _some_ good news - Uhura, Spock and I were able to get more of the crew manifest, so we can put now names to every crewmember and also know were everyone's quarters are."

Jamie sighed. "Okay, small steps it is."

"And I also just recovered the shift schedules", Spock added.

Jamie nodded. "Okay, good. How are we at communications? Can we contact any starbase that might help us?"

Uhura shook her head. "Sorry, I'm afraid it'll take some time." She looked to Montgomery Scott.

He nodded. "I'll put a team on it right away."

"Okay, so, since we don't really know where we are or how we ended up in this situation, we better get the shields up. Are they functional?" Jamie asked.

Sulu checked. "Only at thirty percent."

"Better than nothing", Leonard commented, discreetly eyeing Jamie. He tried to pinpoint these feeling of familiarity he had. And her eyes... Those eyes...

Jamie nodded. "Raise them. And, Mr. Scott, assign a team to get us full shield strength back. We don't want any bad surprises. Well... any _more_ that is."

"Aye, Captain", he replied and went to the turbolift.

Jamie ran a hand over her forehead. Suddenly she felt very tired.

"Captain, you need rest. You look like crap", Leonard said, again not able to avoid that tone.

She looked at him and let out a short laugh. "Geez, thank you, Bones."

He blinked. "What did you just call me?"

Jamie froze for a moment. "I... oh, uhm... I don't know where that came from." She sighed and held her head again.

"Headache?" he asked, now worried.

"Yeah... Since I woke up."

His expression softened. "You called me Bones. Must be some kind of nickname that you unconsciously remembered."

"Is that a good sign?"

"I sure hope so."

The captain smiled.

"Come on", he said and had to restrain himself from putting a hand at her waist.

"Where to?"

"Medbay. I want to see if it's just a headache or if there's more behind it. Also I need a brainscan for you might have remembered something personal. And after that you'll need rest."

"But I..." she started and trailed off. She turned to Spock. "Commander, you have the conn. Please call me if you discover anything that might help us."

"Understood, Captain."

Jamie followed the doctor and they walked in silence to Medbay.

She giggled when they entered. "I have the feeling I might have been here very often."

Leonard chuckled. "Me too."

"Weird, isn't it?"

He nodded and gestured her to sit on a biobed.

Instead of sitting she directly went for laying down. "Is that okay?" she asked. "I'm so tired."

He nodded again. "I'll check if you've got a concussion."

"I didn't hit my head. Pretty sure about that." She closed her eyes and sighed.

The doctor made a few scans and tried very hard not to let his gaze wander over her body.

Some time later Jamie felt something against her neck. She startled and opened her eyes. That sting against her neck - she felt like this happened quite often. And him caring for her, too.

"Sorry", Leonard said, holding a hypospray up. "Gave you something against the pain. According to the scans you're good - except for the amnesia and a low blood sugar level."

"So the headache comes from that?" she asked and slowly sat up. She looked at him and felt that strong closeness again.

"Probably. Or you might be overworked. I guess you haven't eaten in a while."

She hopped off the biobed. "I'll eat something when I've found my quarters." She slowly walked towards the door and turned back around. "You know, it's weird... I have the feeling that we know each other really good."

Leonard smiled. He felt a strong urge to protect her. "Yeah, I also think we know each other very well... Shall I walk you to your quarters? I'd like to make sure that you arrive there and eat something."

She laughed. "Are you afraid that I'm going back to the bridge?"

A strange feeling came over him when she said that. As if it wasn't the first time she'd said something like that. Or actually had done exactly that. "Huh. Somehow I have the notion that you work too much and that we had a conversation like that before."

Jamie shrugged and went through the door. He followed her.

"Recognize anything?" he asked when they entered the captain's quarters.

She made a few steps and took a good look around. "It's like it belongs to someone else." She walked around a little and her glance wandered to him again. She tilted her head.

"What is it?"

"That feeling again... You seem so familiar. You're the only thing that does."

He smiled. "Can you remember anything specific about us? Except for that name you called me?"

She looked at him intensely and her eyes locked with his. "I don't know... It's..." She felt her heart beating faster. "It's more like remembering an... emotion. Feelings that you're somehow associated with." She wondered if she was blushing. At least her face felt a little hot now.

The doctor held her glance. "I hope they're good feelings."

She smiled. "Yes, they are... This entire situation is just a little grueling."

Leonard nodded. "It's been a long day. We've all been through a lot. And who knows how long it will be until we get to the bottom of this." He smiled. "But from all I've seen you're a real good captain."

She returned the smile and followed the sudden urge to give him a peck on the cheek. Well, actually a real kiss was on her mind, but she went for his cheek instead. "I'll see you tomorrow... Goodnight, Bones."

At little startled, he nodded. "Yeah... goodnight", he said, wishing to kiss could have lasted longer or would have been a real one.

Leonard left and Jamie stared for a few moments at the door. She wondered what kind of relationship they had. It had to be a very strong connection for her to have this kind of feelings despite the amnesia. And remembering his nickname was also a big clue. So... were they a couple? Maybe even married? Well, okay, no, not married. That would have been in her file and they would live together if they were...

She walked around and tried to recognize any of her things. But everything still felt unfamiliar and unknown. Jamie picked up this and that, but nothing was able to jug her memory.

On the desk she discovered a picture frame. She picked it up and looked at the photo. It showed her and Leonard McCoy in red cadet uniforms. She was leaning against him and he had an arm wrapped around her waist.

She unwillingly smiled and that warm feeling returned. And she felt a longing building inside her. She wanted to be with him. And she wanted to find out if he also had the feeling of them being close to each other. Now that she thought about it and realized - he hadn't really answered.

"Computer, can you locate Doctor McCoy? Does that function work?"

"Doctor Leonard McCoy is in Medbay", the computer voice answered.

Jamie pursed her lips and pondered if she should go back to Medbay. She wanted his company.

No, she still wasn't sure about the nature of their relationship, but she felt such a strong connection - there _definitely_ had to be something.

An idea formed in her mind and she left her quarters.


	3. Chapter 3: For all we know

**Chapter 3: For all we know**

Leonard McCoy was tired when he got off duty an hour later. Initially he just wanted to see if everything was alright when he returned to Medbay after bringing Jamie Kirk to her quarters. But one of the engineering teams had an accident and he needed to attend some cuts, bruises and minor burns. It was really lucky that the memory loss had left out their professional knowledge.

For a moment he was tempted to go to the captain's quarters and see how Jamie was doing or even spent a little time with her. But he wasn't sure if that would be a good idea.

When he entered his quarters he stopped in surprise. He was at a loss for words.

Jamie Kirk was sitting on the couch, wearing an oversized male sweater that said _Ole Miss_ \- one of his as he assumed - and reading something on a PADD. She had her bare legs pulled up and bent. On the table were the remainders of some sandwiches on a plate. Her uniform was folded on a chair.

She smiled at him. "Hi."

"I know I didn't get the wrong room", Leonard finally said, slowing walking over and sitting down next to her. He also smiled and barely managed not to grin like a lovestruck teenager.

Jamie put the PADD aside. "I felt alone on my quarters. Also, I didn't like the decoration. Besides, I have this funny feeling that I spend a lot of my off hours here with you."

Leonard felt a wave of happiness flowing through his body. "Really?"

She decided to lay the cards on the table and locked her gaze with his. "For all we know, you and I could be a couple."

He chuckled and caught himself really liking that thought very much. "For all we know, you and I could hate each other", he teased.

Jamie grinned. "I don't think so. But... sort of exciting, isn't it? We just don't know." She shifted a little closer.

He automatically leant in a little. He liked where this seemed to be going, but felt obliged to bring in the voice of reason into the conversation - even though he knew the voices of their hearts were much stronger. "We might regret this."

She gave him an innocent look. "Regret what? Aren't you being a little presumptuous? Like I said, I just didn't like the way my quarters were decorated."

"Maybe we should switch quarters", he teased again.

"Maybe we should stay right here and see what happens." Jamie got even closer and straddled his lap.

Leonard reacted instantly and put his hands at her waist, trailing up and on her back, down again and slipping both hands under the fabric of the sweater.

Jamie gasped in pleasure when skin met skin.

"What if I snore?" he whispered against her neck and nuzzled into her hair, placing a kiss behind her ear.

She hummed contentedly and cupped his face with her palms, seeking eye contact again. "What makes you think you're going to get any sleep?" She grinned and captured his lips with hers.

Jamie moved her hips and he thrusted instinctively up, eagerly returning the kiss and working on getting the sweatshirt off.

Leonard ran his hands over her breasts and she threw her head back with a loud moan. Clear thinking was out of the window now. It felt so good and right and... well, _new_... But she credited that to the amnesia.

"Bed?" she managed to get out between kisses, gasps and moans.

He didn't answer, just grabbed her ass and lifted her while standing up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they kissed while he walked them to the bed. He laid her down and worked her pants off. His own clothes followed after.

Well, they got eventually sleep after three rounds. And he didn't snore.

* * *

"Alright..." Montgomery Scott nodded. "That should do it. Engineering to bridge."

"Bridge here", Spock replied.

"The sensors are back online, but limited. The shields are at full strength. We're working on the logs and sensor data. But you'll be able to get new readings now. Maybe that will give us a clue what happened to us. I can give you half impulse, but we can't warp yet. That'll take one or two days."

"Well done, Mr. Scott."

"Thanks. Engineering out." He rolled his eyes when he saw a little alien crewmember, whose name was still unknown, sitting on the senor array. "Get down there!"

The alien shook his head.

* * *

"Mr. Sulu, please scan the star system and report if you encounter anything unusual", Spock ordered, sitting in the command chair. "And run a level three scan of the anomaly we encountered."

"Aye, Sir." Sulu started the scan. "Sir, the anomaly is emitting some kind of strange radiation. We appear to be in save distance now."

"What kind of radiation?"

"Not sure... I'll start that level three scan now. It might take a while. I guess two or three hours. The scanners work as Mr. Scott said, but only two of the six arrays."

Spock nodded. "Begin the scan, Mr. Sulu."

"Sir, I can give you now an update on our position", Chekov said. "According to the starmaps we are in the Selini System, eleven light years from Federation Starbase 7."

Sulu sighed. "Damn. Since the warp drive doesn't work yet, that might take a while. Well, if we do want to head there."

"That is a good question, Mr. Sulu. I think we should leave that to the captain in the morning. And the CMO should also have a say in this. Maybe we'll need to do further scans or probes to find the cause of our amnesia."

Sulu an Chekov nodded.

"Holding position after the level three scan is done?" Sulu asked.

"Yes", Spock confirmed.

Two minutes later the Gamma Shift personal came on duty. But Spock stayed for a few hours.

* * *

 **Author's note:** A few lines of the dialogue are from the TNG episode from the scene in which Ro Laren waits for Will Riker in his quarters. The big difference: They can't stand each other, but don't know because of the amnesia.


	4. Chapter 4: Morning

**Chapter 4: Morning**

The alarm clock was mean. Jamie told the computer to stop it.

But she sighed contentedly feeling the warmth of Leonard McCoy. Her head was on his chest and he had his arms wrapped around her. She smiled thinking about the night. She felt sore in all the right places.

Thinking of the time however made her now sigh in disappointment. She had to be on shift soon and there was absolutely no way to be late. Not with the ship in the current situation.

She wondered how often they might have been in that predicament. Getting up and be on time or having a round of morning sex and be a little late. Or simply staying in bed together and laying in each others arms.

"We should have set the alarm clock for earlier", Leonard murmured and ran his hands over her bare back.

Jamie smiled and popped herself up on one elbow. "We can do that tonight." She leaned in for a kiss and couldn't help herself - she straddled him.

"Darlin'... we don't have time", he whispered, kissing her and pulling her hips closer anyway.

She smiled at hearing him call her by that term of endearment and glanced at the clock. "If we hurry..." She waggled her eyebrows.

Leonard hesitated for a moment, then gave her a smirk and had her so quickly flipped on her back and was inside of her that she had barely time to gasp.

He moved fast and hard and drew loud moans from her. She wondered how soundproof the room was. But the next thrust made her forget that thought and sent her over the edge, taking him with her.

Jamie panted and tried to catch her breath. "Wow... okay, I think we need to shower separately or we never make it to our shifts. I wonder if it's like that every morning." Actually, she also wondered how they made it to work at all. And why exactly were they not living together?

He chuckled and kissed her again.

"Stop it." She laughed and got up, not even bothering with a sheet. She just went into the bathroom naked.

"That's not helping", Leonard commented, watching Jamie walk away and not able to take his eyes off her.

He realized in that moment that, no matter what they knew or didn't know about who they were, one thing was very clear: he was in love with Jamie Kirk. Deeply. So, why the hell wasn't he married to her?

* * *

Jamie Kirk caught herself several times thinking about Leonard McCoy during the morning. She felt like in a new relationship. And yet she was convinced that she knew him for years and they were settled as a couple. It was a weird combination and she wondered how that would play out when they would have their memories back.

But for now they had them to get back first.

The progress the repair teams had made over night were very good. But the hardest part was still before them - finding out how this whole thing had happened in the first place, how to reverse the damage and how to make sure it didn't happen to them or any other ship again.

"Well, I guess this is what happens when you explore unknown space", Jamie commented, sitting down in the command chair.

The big view screen showed the position of the Enterprise in relation to Federation space. They were outside of explored space. Literally where no one had gone before. Or at least no one from the Federation and Starfleet.

"So... there is a radiation emanating from that space anomaly, but it's nothing like we ever encountered?"

"Yes, Captain", Spock confirmed.

"Great..." She sighed. "Did you send the sensor scans to Medbay?"

"Yes", Sulu replied. "Doctor McCoy had them at the begin of Alpha Shift."

Jamie nodded. "Good. Bridge to Medbay."

"This is McCoy", the doctor's voice sounded.

"Any news?" Jamie asked, trying not to let it show how happy she was hearing his voice.

He sighed. "Not much. My staff checked about fifty crew members over night and made brain scans to get a good picture. It's the same, no matter the species: No damage to the hippocampus. That suggests that we still have our long-term memories, but somehow they're being blocked. It could be an effect of that radiation. Well, actually that's the only explanation I have."

"So how do we reverse it?" Jamie asked. "Is it possible to bypass the normal pathways? To get at our memories some other way?"

"Maybe. I hope so. I'd need to see some normal brain scans for comparison. But we can't access the crew's medical files yet. Is there any chance you could make that a priority?"

"Spock?" Jamie asked with a glance to the Vulcan.

"Engineering is currently running a full diagnostic. Computer resources are limited."

Jamie nodded. "Bones, we do what we can. The medical records are our next priority."

"Thank you. Until I get them I'll run a few more tests. I'll keep you posted. Medbay out."

"What now?" Sulu asked. "Are we staying here or shall I lay in a course to Starbase Seven?"

Jamie pondered for a few moments. "We'll stay. Perhaps Bones can tell us something new in the afternoon. I also don't want to risk anything. Something has damaged the ship. We need to find out what happened. We need to know what it was and not repeat it accidentally... Spock, I want a meeting with the senior officers at 1500 hours."

"Yes, Captain."


	5. Chapter 5: Allergies

**Chapter 5: Allergies**

"Ah, look at that", Montgomery Scott smiled at the little alien und pointed to a computer screen showing the last missing part of the crew manifest. "You've got a name. Keenser."

Keenser just nodded and went on with his work.

"No 'thank you'? Nothing?" Scott sighed. "Alright. Let's see about those medical records now. The sooner we get access to those, the sooner we get our memories back."

Keenser nodded.

"Oh and keep an eye open for anything out of the ordinary. I have a feeling that something's still off with the computer system. Maybe we have to search in the Jeffries tubes manually for damage. But let's try it with some more diagnostics first."

The alien crewmember nodded again.

The engineer's fingers flew over the computer consoles and his forehead curled into a frown. "What the..." He double checked. "Scott to Medbay."

"This is McCoy."

"Doctor, we got the medical records now."

"That was fast."

"Yeah, well, not really." Montgomery Scott sighed. "Turns out that they were here the whole time. But apparently first we couldn't access them due to the problems with the computer core and someone in one of the repair teams messed up. The files were put in the wrong place. I just found out. I changed the access path back to where they belong. Should be everything there."

"Thanks. Medbay out."

Scott nodded and pondered if he should be angry. But decided not to be. The situation wasn't easy and there was no way of telling if the mistake was simply a result of the messed up memories.

* * *

Leonard McCoy was relieved to have now everyone's medical files. He checked his own first, because it was easiest to do some kind of self-experiment and, if necessary, getting additional scans fast. He did brain scan comparisons - but they were inconclusive. He also compared scans of the crewmembers they scanned with their records. The outcome was the same.

When he checked Jamie Kirk's file however... He raised his eyebrows at the long list of her allergies. "Damn... she allergic to half the universe." He chuckled.

And reading the pain meds she couldn't take, the doctor noticed in surprise that he'd given her a safe hypo the day before. So, his subconsciousness had known about this. "Interesting..."

And then it hit him - Jamie was the key. He rolled his eyes. "Of course... The headache and remembering the nickname... Her brain chemistry is different because of the allergies and whatever knocked us out completely didn't get her all of her memories."

He spent the rest of the time until the meeting of the senior officers concentrating on Jamie Kirk's scans.

He had a hunch what was going on with the crew.

* * *

"So..." Jamie Kirk started and looked at the senior officers around the table in the observation lounge. "I guess, we made good progress."

Scotty nodded. "Aye. The computer core is up and running again. All files are back and where they belong. Warp speed will take another day. We're still not sure if and how that malfunction happened. I guess we'll need to check all the entry points to the core manually in the Jeffries tubes But for now everything looks good."

"So, you're sure that there was no external cause? Like an enemy ship?" Sulu asked.

"Aye. The core was somehow damaged during the encounter with the anomaly. Or from the radiation of the anomaly."

"And how far are we with the anomaly?" Jamie asked, suppressing a groan when she felt a wave of headache rushing over her.

Scotty sighed. "The sensor scans - old and new - are here, but... don't make sense. This radiation is very strange."

"Maybe I can help", Leonard joined the conversation.

All glances turned to him in surprise and confusion.

"Last time I checked you were a doctor, not an engineer", Jamie replied with a wink, getting a funny feeling saying those words. As if she knew them, but something was... off.

Leonard rolled his eyes. "This isn't a engineering problem. Well, at least not entirely."

"What do you mean?" Scotty replied.

"You said yourself that this radiation is strange."

Scotty frowned. "Yes?"

"It's not dangerous for humans in a way that it made us sick in the usual way. And yet it's the reason for our situation", Leonard said. "The most fitting analogy would be: we're allergic to it. And so is the Enterprise."

Everyone stared at him.

"Did you just say the ship's allergic?" Jamie asked to be sure.

"Yes, but as I said. It's more like an analogy. For the lack of a better description", the doctor answered. "Every living being has brainwaves and every computer runs by energy. If I'm correct, then our brains and the computer core acted as if they were allergic to that strange radiation. Our immune systems tried to cope with it and it messed up our memories."

Scotty's eyes lit up. "Yes, of course! And the computer also tried that. I noticed something is still off, but couldn't pinpoint it yet. But if we think of the shiop as a being, then the firewall, virus scanner and diagnostic systems would be the immune system. And although we've repaired the damage now the symptoms, the cause is still there and therefore the computer is still acting up, fighting it of and trying get... healthy again."

Leonard nodded. "Exactly."

The engineers eyes widened. "We need to get further away from here, right?" he asked the doctor.

"Hm..." Sulu made. "We are. At least we thought we are in a safe distance from the radiation."

Leonard weighed his head. "Perhaps not far enough? Or perhaps the sensors don't get everything of the radiation and we are still in range? I suggest bringing us further away. For the computer it might do the trick. As for our brains... time will tell. We might just get our memories back gradually. If not, we have no other choice than to see if treatment will help and risk it."

"If?" Uhura echoed. "Does that mean that we might not get our memories back?"

Leonard sighed. "We're all in the dark here. Something like this never happened... Well, at least I guess so. Every injury, sickness or allergy bears the potential to turn out in an irreversible way. Let's just hope this isn't one of those cases."

"Doctor, should we have gone to more distance from the anomaly earlier?" Spock inquired. "We talked about it yesterday and today, but decided to hold position until we know more."

"It was the right decision", Jamie said in a firm voice. "There seemed to be no immediate danger and we couldn't be sure if we would run into something that could do some damage again or if we'd need more scans from the anomaly for the treatment."

Leonard nodded. "And now we know more. As I said - I would suggest to take us further away from the radiation, so it really can't reach the ship, but still stay close enough so we could do dome scans if we should need some."

"Do it", Jamie told Sulu. "And run another level three scan. Include radiation frequencies we normally don't scan. Perhaps the first scan missed something."

The helmsman nodded and went back to the bridge.

"So..." Jamie looked to Leonard.

"Now we wait", the doctor said. "I can't speak for engineering, but I guess we should give our brains one or two days. If our memories start coming back - good. If not I'll run some more tests and will try the most basic and least invasive method for memory retrieving."

Jamie nodded. "Alright. That's the plan then. Dismissed."

The officers got up and left. Only Jamie and Leonard remained behind.

She smiled at him and slowly closed the distance between them to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and didn't let go of her until after a second kiss.

"This is thanks to you", he said.

The captain looked at him confused.

He chuckled. "This little breakthrough. Half of you medical file is a list of things you're allergic to. That made me think. You had this headache yesterday, but remembered the name Bones. I think this whole bunch of your allergies has altered your brain chemistry. So the radiation effected you differently than us and caused the headache."

Jamie sighed. "How mad would you be if I told you that I've some headache again... Still... oh, whatever."

Leonard huffed exasperated, but gave her a worried look. "Why didn't you come to Medbay, Darlin'?"

"I tried to ignore the pain."

He just tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, yes, didn't work." She put her hands to her temples and started massaging them with the fingertips.

Leonard shook his head, but couldn't suppress a smile. "I have the feeling that you're that kind of patient. You put off problems until someone has to drag you to Medbay."

She let her hands sink and grinned. "Maybe."

"Come on", he said. And this time he did what he didn't dare the day before - he slid an arm around her waist while walking.


	6. Chapter 6: Ring and shock

**Chapter 6: Ring and shock**

A hypo made the rest of her shift bearable, but Jamie Kirk was glad when she finally entered her quarters. The tension of the day slowly left her body. She was looking forward to everything being back at normal soon.

Leonard McCoy arrived a few minutes later and after dinner they made themselves comfortable on the couch. He leaned back and put his feet on the couch table. Jamie was in his arms, having her head resting against his chest, his arms were wrapped around her and her legs bent and pulled against her thighs.

"You know, there's one thing I don't understand about your theory", Jamie said, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

"Theory?" He chuckled. "I think I found out what's happening."

"Hm, well, but what about you? You have an explanation for my headache and me remembering Bones and the feelings that go along with that name. But what about your feelings?" She shifted in his arms and made eye contact. "Do you also have some allergies?" She winked.

"Maybe my feelings are too strong to be knocked out along with my memories", he said, mesmerized by the bright cerulean blue of her eyes.

Slowly he leaned his head down and she met his lips in a slow and intense kiss. His arms tightened around her and she sighed happily.

"Why are we not living together?" she whispered the question she asked herself that morning.

Instead of the expected surprise she got a warm smile as response. "We could change that."

She smiled back. "Yeah, we could."

"But what if there's a reason we don't remember?"

"How could we... _love_ each other and not live together?"

Her eyes were wide and she felt her heart beating very fast. She suddenly had a weird feeling again and even felt a slight panic rise. Oh boy, the L-word. Maybe they'd never spoken it?

Leonard felt her tense in his arms and cupped her cheek with one hand. "Darlin'..." he whispered knowing what that reaction was about. "If we never said it, we should change that. Even though I don't remember anything about my life and us, I feel that I'm in love with you. If I never said it, I'm an idiot."

Before she could reply anything he kissed her again.

She smiled against his lips. "I love you, too."

He circled his hands over her back and remembered the morning. "I also wondered about something."

"Hm?" She locked their gazes again.

Now it was his turn to get nervous. "Why aren't we... uhm... I- I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life."

Jamie was about to answer casually and suggesting to chose the bigger captain's quarters for living together when she realized he wasn't only talking about moving in together. "Bones... are you asking me..." She was too stunned to complete the sentence.

"What if I were?"

She let out an amused laugh. "We can't remember anything about us. Isn't this a little crazy?"

"We know our feelings", he corrected. "And we know that we've know each other since the Academy."

"True..." She felt her heart racing, straightened herself and sat up.

Leonard took his feet off the table and also sat up straight. He looked to his right hand and the ring on his pinky. "I guess this is a heirloom."

He slowly took the ring off his finger and held it so Jamie could see it. Silver with a blue stone. The design appeared to be feminine. "Perhaps from my mother or grandmother. There must be a reason that I'm wearing it."

Jamie's eyes were wide again and her cheeks flushed. "Are you really asking me to marry you?" she managed now to spell it out. "Sh- Shouldn't we wait with a decision like that a few days until we got our memories back? I mean, I have a feeling that I may be impulsive and open for crazy things, but we're talking about marriage. That's big."

He chuckled. "And I have a feeling that we waited way too long already." He took her left hand and held the right up to it. "So? Will you marry me, Jamie?"

A 'Yes' was on her tonge, but intead she got part of reason back. "Maybe", she breathed after a few moments that seemed like an eternity. She held her right hand up and pulled the left back. "I'll wear the ring on the right hand until we know who we are." She smiled. "Then you can put it on the other hand."

Leonard nodded and slid the ring on her right ring finger, brought her hand up to his lips. Then he pulled her close and properly kissed his almost-fiancée.

Jamie melted against him and wondered for a moment if she really was the marrying type. But, well, she would find out soon, she thought, and decided to do something about their current state of dress. She slipped her hands under his uniform shirt and pulled it off.

In the corner of her eye his noticed the ring sparkling in the low lighting of the room, but as temping it was to look closer at the piece of jewelry - opening his belt was much more interesting for now. When she had it open and moved for the zipper he suddenly got up, swept her up in his arms bridal style and carried her to the bed.

Her firstly surprised yelp turned into a happy giggle.

* * *

In the middle of the night Jamie Kirk woke up with headache again. She glanced at the clock. Half past three.

She groaned, but tried to be quiet and not to wake Leonard. She slowly sat up and held her head with both hands.

Jamie startled when she felt something at her left hand. The ring, she remembered and reached with the right hand to the nightstand and activated some light.

She looked curiously at the silver band. "Elisabeth..." she whispered when the name of the former owner came to her mind.

And her tired eyes flew wide open.

Everything was back. She remembered the ring. Leonard. Her own life. Meeting in the Academy shuttle. Becoming friends. He telling her about his family and divorce. The Narada. Getting command of the Enterprise. Many adventures. Encountering the space anomaly. And what happened the past two days.

Jamie gasped in pain and had the feeling not being able to breathe. Her head felt like it was exploding.

She remembered him and herself. As friends. Best friends. No couple.

Her glance wandered to the sleeping man next to her.

"Oh no..." she breathed and felt panic rise. Now she understood what had made her hesitant in the evening when...

With another gasp Jamie's eyes flew back to the ring.

She'd slept with Leonard McCoy. She'd told him she loved him. She'd gotten half engaged to him. All within two days. All without knowing who they were.

Okay, so she loved him. Why was she panicking then?

Jamie tried to take a deep breath, but felt like getting no air at all. She threw the sheets away and got out of bed.

After a few steps she realized she was naked and silently groaned again. She felt tears building in the corners of her eyes.

She knew she wasn't the type panicking. Why was she then? And why was this so fucked up now?

"We ruined our friendship..." Jamie whispered to herself getting dressed in a hurry. Yeah, no matter their feeling - that was it.

She tried to tell herself that she might be overreacting now, but couldn't simply stop herself. _Of course_ she was in love with him. But _no_ , she wasn't exactly the marrying type. And Leonard? Every time they'd gotten drunk together he'd sworn at some point never getting married again.

Wearing her uniform dress she ran barefoot out of her quarters, wiping the tears away. She had no idea what to do now, but she needed to get out. What if he woke up and remembered?

She felt the ring like a weight on her finger and yet wasn't able to take it off. She just walked and walked through the corridors of the Enterprise.

* * *

 **Author's notes:**

Okay, I think I went beyond crazy with this chapter. Wasn't planned like that with the pinky ring, but the idea of working it in just got stuck in my mind... I couldn't help myself...

This chapter is for Tamaha because of the mail a few weeks ago :) It's a variation of the possibilities of Bones' pinky ring.

DeForest Kelley wore a ring from his mother at his left pinky in remembrance of his late mother. old wth a bue stone. Karl Urban had also a ring when he played Leonard McCoy. It's said to be in honor of Kelley. I couldn't find clear pictures of the original ring or the AOS-ring, but it looks more like silver with a stone. I just looked around to find a nice one in silver with a blue stone. I like to work in pictures in the fics from time to time.


	7. Chapter 7: Slowing down

**Chapter 7: Slowing down**

Author's note: The story about Leonard and his grandmother is, of course, made up.

* * *

Leonard McCoy was confused when he woke up. The place on the bed next to him was empty. He reached out with one hand and felt the cold mattress.

"Jamie?"

No answer. And not a sound.

"Darlin', where are you?" he asked again and sat up in bed.

He got up, put some pants on and went to the com unit. He touched a button. "McCoy to Kirk."

No answer. Now he was worried. And annoyed.

"Doctor McCoy to Captain Kirk", he tried a second time.

No answer.

"Dammit Jamie, what's going on?" he mumbled exasperated and even more worried.

Leonard took a look around, but everything seemed to be normal. Her uniform dress was gone, but her boots were still where she'd left them the night before.

He ran a hand over his face and pondered what could be the reason for this situation. It took him only a few moments to realize it. "Shit..." She must have gotten her memories back. And that must have set something off. He still couldn't remember anything.

"McCoy to Medbay."

"This is M'Benga", a male voice answered.

"Is Jamie Kirk in Medbay? Or was she there last night?" Leonard asked.

"No. And no."

Leonard sighed. "Okay, thanks. McCoy out." He pursed his lips and contemplated what to do now. "Computer, locate Captain Kirk."

"Captain Kirk is on the observation deck."

Leonard reached for his uniform shirt, and put it on. His boots, too. Then he left the captain's quarters with fast steps.

* * *

Jamie leant against a wall on the observation deck. She had her knee pulled against her body and her arms wrapped around them. She stared out of the big window front into the darkness of space and tried to ignore her headache.

She moved the fingers on her right hand from time to time and used her thumb to feel the metal of the ring or glanced to the gem that looked like the blue of the medical uniforms.

The headache aside, she felt better than a few hours ago. But she also still felt a little lost. She remembered that she was best friends with Leonard McCoy - not in a relationship. What now? Could this be the start of something new? But what if she didn't want to lose what they had? Or what if he changed his mind when his memories came back?

She was a grown woman and men or sex had never been a problem for her. But, well, perhaps _that_ was _exactly_ the problem. This wasn't about men and this wasn't about plain sex. This was about Leonard McCoy. And love. A real romantic relationship and a possible marriage.

Jamie looked at the ring again. Leonard's grandmother's ring. Elisabeth Gilmore. They'd been very close and he'd been devastated when she'd died. Jamie had met the elder woman briefly in her first year at the Academy.

Jamie had accompanied Leonard to the funeral and was present when he'd gotten the ring from some lawyer. Elisabeth had left it to him. It had been her most precious possession and she'd loved her grandson very much. Since the 20th century that ring was given from mother to daughter in the Gilmore family. But Elisabeth and her daughter Eleonora hadn't been on good terms. So Elisabeth wanted Leonard to have the ring - either to give it to Joanna one day or to a woman he loved. He'd always said he would wear it until Jo was of age. But now...

...the ring was at Jamie's hand as a promise of future together. _If_ she wanted it.

Did she want it?

"Marriage..." Jamie whispered to herself. "This is crazy..."

"Is it?"

She startled and looked up. Leonard was standing a few meters away, having his hands in the pockets of his uniform pants.

Jamie sighed. "Do you remember yet?"

"So, you got your memories back?"

"Yeah, along with some nasty headache again."

He chuckled, stepped next to her, took a hypo out of one of his pockets and sat down beside her. "I figured as much." He administered the hypo he'd gotten in Medbay on his way here.

Jamie did neither protest nor flinch. She just looked at him with a very vulnerable expression. "Sorry, I panicked a little... "

He took her hand and gently trailed over the ring. "Why?"

"Because we are best friends. No couple."

He gave her a look she couldn't decipher. "I think I know enough about my feelings to say that I don't see a problem. So we were simply friends - _now_ we are a couple." He shrugged. "Big deal. As I said: If I never told you that I love you, I'm an idiot."

She sighed. "We better postpone this conversation for when you also have your memories back."

"Do you love me?"

Jamie blinked in surprise. "What?"

"It's a simple question. Are you in love with me?" Leonard repeated with an affectionate smile.

"Yes... And that's the problem."

"Why?"

"Because." She shook her head and sighed again. "I want to figure this out. But we can't talk without you remembering who you are and what we are... were to each other. We need to sort this out, but not now... This is all my fault. I was so convinced what we are. I was too impulsive and... I'm really afraid that we did too much too soon. It's all a mess. We need to slow down, Bones." She let out a laugh of disbelief. "I'm trying to do the responsible thing here."

Jamie contemplated taking the ring off and giving it back to him. But for some reason her hands refused to move. However, the rest of her body did. She got up, kissed him on the cheek and walked away. "I should get ready for Alpha Shift..."

Leonard kept sitting and sighed. He felt a headache starting.


	8. Chapter 8: The answer

**Chapter 8: The answer**

Jamie got back to her quarters, took a shower and put on a fresh uniform dress. She was on time for Alpha Shift on the bridge, but her mind stayed with what had happened the past two days.

She caught herself several times thinking about kissing Leonard McCoy, how great the sex was, laying in his arms and how it would be to... well, be in a real relationship with him. Married to him? She'd never pictured herself to be a wife. But with him... Maybe? More than just maybe?

The captain looked at the ring again. Why was she still wearing it? It felt like the piece of jewelry was mocking her - it fitted perfect. Coincidence or a sign?

She also realized she liked wearing that ring - liked what it symbolized. Could it work? A Marriage with Leonard McCoy?

Jamie closed her eyes for a few moments. Too many questions. Too much thinking. She still didn't understand what was going on with her. She didn't feel like her usual confident self. She felt like an emotional wreckage. It was as if she was two different people at once - a Jamie wanting to keep her friendship with Leonard by always pushing back her feelings for him and a Jamie acting on her feelings, because the overthinking had been out of the picture due to the amnesia.

 _Could it work?_ This question reigned in her mind. Of course she wished she could continue what she and Leonard had started. But despite everything he'd said to her, she was afraid that he would want to go back to their friendship in the end. The Leonard she knew for years didn't believe into marriage anymore, but the new Leonard didn't know that, simply followed his feelings and proposed.

Perhaps... that was exactly what they should do now. And being a couple didn't mean losing everything they had. It just had taken her some time to realize that in the craziness of the past days.

Suddenly she didn't understand anymore why she'd panicked in the night. She loved him, he loved her. Perhaps it was simply time to acknowledge that they were dancing around each other for a long time and now step to the next level. Or in this case - sort out the mess of the past days and start finding out how to be a couple.

"Dammit..." Jamie whispered to herself. "What the hell am I doing?"

"Captain?" Sulu asked and Chekov also looked to her.

"Sorry, I'm talking to myself, Sulu."

"You should go to him."

Jamie gave him a surprised look. "What?"

"McCoy."

She stared at the helmsman.

Sulu chuckled and pointed to her right hand. "That's the ring he's always wearing on his left pinky. From his grandmother, right?"

Jamie was about to answer, when... "Wait a sec, is your memory back?"

"My head feels like I was hit by Saturn", Sulu answered. "I should probably go to Medbay soon. But yeah, I remember who I am. It started about two hours ago..."

"I also remember", Chekov carefully interjected.

Sulu raised his eyebrows suggestively at Jamie. "Which would mean..."

She exhaled sharply. "...that Bones probably also remembers by now."

Sulu nodded. "This may come as a surprise to you, but we all know that the two of you are in love with each other. Like for years. We're all waiting for the day you get your act together and admit your feelings." His gaze fell on the ring. "And something did happen, didn't it? Maybe that amnesia had a good side?"

Jamie sighed. "Yeah..."

"So... then why are you still sitting here?"

The captain stared at him again. Great, now Sulu was giving her relationship advice.

"That's what I was asking myself", she admitted.

"With all due respect, Captain", Sulu began with a smirk, "get your shit together and move your ass to Medbay. _Now_. I imagine you are afraid of something, I just don't know why. Really. He's head over heels in love with you. And you're in love with him. The two of you are already often, well, _always_ acting like an married couple and there's nothing you don't know of each other - make a ring and sex that much of a difference?" He winked. "Do yourself a favor - don't think. Not about this. Just trust your feelings. My guess is that he's waiting for you right now."

Jamie laughed and it suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted from her body. And she felt incredibly silly.

"Spock, you've got the conn", she said to the commander who was at communications talking to Nyota Uhura. Smiling Jamie headed to the door leading to the corridor.

"I'm looking forward to the wedding!" Sulu called after the captain. "How about a man of honor? Doesn't need to be a woman. Or do you need someone to give away the bride?"

The bridge crew looked at Sulu in confusion. What had they just missed?

* * *

Jamie Kirk walked into Medbay with fast and fierce steps.

Leonard looked up. He waved over a nurse to take care of the patient he'd been scanning with a tricorder. Medbay was swamped with people having headache due to getting their memories back. Every biobed was taken and a few more people were sitting on chairs.

"Are your memories back?" the captain asked the doctor directly without saying hello.

He looked at her seriously. "Yes."

"Do you still mean what you said and did the past two days?" She held her right hand up, not caring that they had an audience. "Do you still want us to be together?"

His expression softened and a slight smile appeared in the corners of his mouth. But he didn't move. "Yes."

Jamie made two steps closer to him, holding out her right hand. "And... do you still want an answer to your question?"

Leonard clasped her hand with both of his. "Yes."

She looked into his eyes and gave him a bright smile. " _Yes._ "

He blinked and it took him a moment to grasp those three letters. "Yes?"

Jamie smiled, well, more like grinned. "Yes."

His face lit up and he returned that happy grin, sliding the ring off her right hand and putting it on her left ring finger.

They just held eye contact for a few moments, still smiling and not noticing the excited squeaking noises and surprised reactions of the medical personal and the patients.

"My head needed a little time to catch up with my heart..." she whispered.

Leonard pulled Jamie into his arms and into a slow and passionate kiss.

Clapping and cheering all around brought them back to reality a few moments later.

Jamie noticed Montgomery Scott and Keenser sitting on two biobeds in a corner and staring at them in delighted shock, before Leonard's lips were on hers again.

"I think the mess hall will do nicely for the wedding reception", Scotty said after a few moments to Keenser and grinned. "What do you think?"

Keenser just nodded.


	9. Chapter 9: Lunch Hour

**Chapter 9: Lunch Hour**

Jamie Kirk and Leonard McCoy kept standing in the middle of Medbay, just looking at each other and kissing again, while everyone around them was slowly starting to carry on.

"Go, Leonard, we'll manage without you", a voice said.

Still in each other's arms the couple turned their heads - Geoffrey M'Benga came to them.

"And congratulations", the doctor added before heading to his next patient.

Leonard smiled, grabbed Jamie's hand and pulled her into his office to be out of the way and have some privacy to talk about everything that happened.

"Just for the record", Jamie began and leant against his desk, "we're completely crazy to get engaged like that."

He chuckled. "Says the woman just saying yes and usually doing things that are way crazier." Suddenly he let out a short laugh. "You know, Grandma Betty used to say the heart does things for reasons that reason not understands."

With a smile Jamie glanced at the ring with the blue stone. "She was a smart woman."

Leonard nodded. "I'm glad that everything happened like it did the past days, Darlin'. Who knows how long we would have been secretly been in love with each other. It was about time that we listened to our hearts."

She took another look at her left hand with the ring - her engagement ring. That would take some getting used to. "It feels right and weird at the same time. Never thought I'd be getting married."

"Never thought I'd do it again."

Jamie sat fully on the table now. "That's why I left the bed last night. Well, now I think it was silly. I shouldn't have doubted."

"I would be a fool not wanting to marry you." He came closer and she opened her legs, so he could step between them. He wrapped his arms around her and chuckled. "No sex in my office, Darlin'."

She grinned. "So, my ready room would be okay?"

Leonard rolled his eyes. " _Jamie_..." he said warningly, but smiled seeing how happy she was.

"Sorry, couldn't resist to tease you." Jamie slid her hands in his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

"You're back to your old sassy self, aren't you?"

"I don't think my old me would have slept with you or gotten engaged to you. This is an improved Jamie Kirk." She winked, but got serious again. "Actually, Sulu talked some sense into me."

"Really?" Leonard asked surprised.

"Apparently, the crew was already waiting for us to get together. I was about to come to Medbay anyway, but he gave me a little kick in the butt. The crew's probably planning our wedding right now", she said chuckling.

He shook his head and also laughed.

Then Jamie's expression got serious again. "So, we're really doing this..." She whispered.

"Some day. The past two days were quite the catalyst, but we don't have to rush anything." Leonard gently cupped her cheek with his right hand, keeping her close with the other one on her back. "But I intend to keep you awake this night", he added in a suggestive voice.

"I like that plan." She smiled and pulled him into another kiss to get a downpayment on that promise.

But one kiss turned into a second and a third, followed by his lips trailing to her neck and Jamie moaning and moving her hips against him.

"What did you say about no sex in your office?" she teased him, gasping and slipping her hands under his uniform shirt.

"Just kissing my fiancée", he replied innocently, kissing her neck again.

Jamie sighed happily at the word fiancée and her hands roamed over his back. "No hickeys!"

Leonard chuckled against her skin. "The color would fit your eyes and the sapphire."

She snorted and arched her eyebrows. "Do you wanna sleep in your quarters tonight?"

"You wouldn't throw me out."

Jamie tilted her head. "Sure about that?"

"Yeah, absolutely..." His lips descended on hers again and he let his hands wander under the hem of her uniform dress.

She moaned and tried to keep her head clear. "Bones... we, uh, can't..." She gasped and her eyelids fluttered. "Either we need to lock that door or we need to stop and go back to work..." she managed to get out.

Leonard sighed and hesitantly pulled his hands back. He glanced at the clock and smirked. "Computer, lock the door."

A beeping noise confirmed his order.

Jamie's jaw dropped. She hadn't expected that. She looked at him flushed.

He gave her a predatory look and pulled her closer. She felt through the fabric of his pants how hard he was. "It's nearly lunchtime."

It took her a moment to realize what he meant - they had at least an hour time and he didn't want to waste any minute of it. She also smirked now and her hands had his belt and zipper open within seconds.

Leonard's hands were under the dress of her command dress again and he got rid of her panty in record time.

"I hope your office is soundproof... _ahhhhh_...", Jamie whispered with a loud gasp when he pushed into her.

"It is..." he confirmed and adjusted the angle of her hips, making her moan deeply.

She hold on to him tight and met his hips while he was thrusting into her.

* * *

"Bridge to Medbay", Spock's voice sounded.

"M'Benga here", the doctor said.

"Is Captain Kirk still in Medbay?" the commander asked.

M'Benga suppressed a grin. "Sort of."

"Please specify your answer, Doctor."

"Well... she's... in Doctor McCoy's office... uhm, with him. But they are, uh... _occupied_ at the moment." M'Benga suppressed a grin. "Is it important?"

"Not particularly", Spock answered. "I was simply concerned due to her long absence. She left the bridge 97 minutes ago."

"Don't worry, she's more than fine." Now he grinned. "But I wouldn't expect her to be on the bridge for at least 30 more minutes."

"Did something happen? I was under the impression that the crew is doing fine and most crewmembers memories have returned by now. The captain, too. I got your report an hour ago."

"Oh, yes, yes, everything's perfect. We're treating the headaches. No permanent damage from the radiation and amnesia", M'Benga explained. "Commander, say... haven't the news reached the bridge yet?"

"To which do you refer?"

"About the captain... and the doctor."

"Oh for god's sake", suddenly Uhura's voice sounded. "Just tell us, Geoffrey. Sulu thinks they got engaged, but the captain won't answer her com. We desperately want to know if it's true. Well, okay, Spock just wants to know when she'll be back on the bridge. He says that would be soon enough to ask her."

"So did they get engaged?" the doctor now heard Sulu asking. "And is it true that they locked themselves in the CMO's office? They're having sex, aren't they?"

"Lieutenant Sulu, it is not appropriate to ask such questions", Spock reprimanded him.

M'Benga laughed loudly and drew the attention of the medical personal and the patients to him. "I'll tell you what - ask Security to give you the surveillance cam footage from Medbay main room. Around 1145 hours. That'll answer your questions", he said. "Well, not the last one. But I guess that's self-explanatory anyway."

Uhura and Sulu giggled.

"Thank you, Doctor M'Benga", Spock said and M'Benga could practically hear the look he must be giving them.

Then the connection ended.

* * *

 **Author's note:** "The heart does things for reasons that reason not understands." is from Joseph (Princess Diaries).


	10. Chapter 10: Plans

**Chapter 10** **: Plans**

The thirty minutes M'Benga had predicted became forty - until they only even left the CMO's office.

Jamie walked out first, stroking over her hair, finishing to get it back in order. Her skin was flushed and her eyes sparkling.

M'Benga saw them from afar and grinned. He casually walked over. "The bridge crew is dying to get news of your engagement. I told them to look at the video footage", he said also completely coolly.

Although Jamie knew that he only meant the ring and the kissing and that the CMO's office had no surveillance, her eyes went wide for a moment.

Leonard just rolled his eyes and slid an arm around her waist. "Sometimes I wonder how anything on this ship is done... bunch of gossips..." he mumbled.

Jamie grinned and kissed him quickly.

M'Benga sighed pretended dramatically. "Enough already you two. You'll send someone into a diabetic coma if you'll be displaying so much affection and sweetness around the ship."

Leonard rolled his eyes again. "Careful, Geoff, she'll take that as a dare."

Jamie shrugged and stepped out of her fiancée's arm. She winked. "I'll think about it... See you tonight, Bones." And with a meaningful smile towards Leonard she strolled out of Medbay, running her hands over her uniform dress to straighten the last wrinkled from... _lunch hour_.

Leonard looked after her and his colleague grinned.

"It's even worse than I thought", M'Benga commented.

"What do you mean?"

"You two. Madly in love. Well, not that this is new. But now it's official and you practically skipped being a couple and went straight for getting engaged... I knew you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off each other, but I don't want to know what the two of you did in there for over one and a half hour."

"We were not-" Leonard glanced at the time. "Oh..."

M'Benga grinned. "Ahhh... young love..." He winked and walked away.

Leonard rolled his eyes, but blushed a little. He wondered if he would ever be able to work at his desk without thinking about Jamie. Or sit in the chair. Or on the couch.

* * *

Captain Jamie T. Kirk was expecting quite a few things when she entered the bridge. But not this.

"Bride on ze bridge!" Chekov announced with a blush about this cheekiness when she stepped through the door.

After the first moment of surprise Jamie smiled.

"So, congratulations are in order, hm?" Sulu grinned.

"Well, you saw it, didn't you?" Jamie replied, referring to the video.

"We did", Spock answered and rose from the command chair.

"It was really sweet", Uhura added.

Jamie raised the hand with the ring for a moment. "Yes, Bones and I are engaged. And no, we haven't set a date yet. And the whole story is something to tell on a quiet evening in the mess hall." She sat down in her chair. "Now, how's our status?"

"We're holding our position", Sulu said.

"According to Doctor M'Benga the crew has regained their memories", Spock explained.

Jamie nodded. "Sulu, set a course for Starbase Seven. I guess the Enterprise needs a little overhaul in space dock. And prepare and launch a beacon that warns ships about the anomaly and its effects. If no one else did that, we sure as hell will."

"Even though its good sides?" Sulu winked.

Jamie chuckled. "Well, there can't be that many ships with a captain and a CMO in denial for their feelings, can there? Let's just save the other ones from any trouble. But I won't complain about us running into it."

She smiled to herself and looked down on the ring. She couldn't wait for the shift to be over and seeing Bones... moving his stuff into the captain's quarters... and, well, although he said they could take it slow, she wasn't so sure if she wanted that.

The last of her insecurities after regaining her memories had disappeared the moment he'd put the ring on her left finger.

Perhaps it was a spur of the moment decision, but...

"Chekov, how long would it take us from Starbase Seven to Earth?"

The Ensign's fingers moved quickly over his console. "About a veek at warp seven. But at the moment we only have varp two and Mr. Scott estimates zat ve need at least four days at ze Starbase."

"Someone's planning a wedding..." Sulu singsonged.

Jamie rolled her eyes, but also smiled. "I have no comment on the matter", she said and turned to communications changing the subject. "Uhura, inform the Starbase that we're on our way and what happened."

"Yes, Captain."


	11. Epilogue

**Chapter 11** **: Epilogue**

The flowers in the gardens at Starfleet Command glowed in the evening light. The senior officers of the Enterprise, some admirals, the McCoy Family and Winona Kirk had gathered at a little lake. Ten year old Joanna McCoy had a little cushion with the rings in her hands.

The Starfleet officers were in dress uniform - except Jamie. The bride wore a gown. A champagne and golden one, fitting to her being a captain. She had decided that she wasn't the type to wear a puffy white dress. Or white at all.

And when she walked down the aisle the gown shimmered beautifully in the soft sunlight. Leonard was completely taken and barely able to move.

"We have gathered here today to witness and celebrate the joining of Captain Jamie Tiberia Kirk and Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy in matrimony", Admiral Christopher Pike began. "This wedding was a surprise to us all, but I think all of you will agree with me: It's about damn time!"

The guests chuckled and Jamie gave Leonard a bright smile which he returned.

"And, well, I wonder why I was surprised in the first place when I heard less than two weeks ago that they'd gotten engaged. Jamie doesn't do anything the normal way."

Agreeing laughter.

"Not the Academy, not becoming captain and not getting married. So here we are. And I am honored and happy to officiate Jamie's and Leonard's marriage." Pike smiled. "Jamie..."

She took Leonard's with both of hers. "Chris is right. I don't do normal. Well, getting married might be an exception." She winked. "I love you, Leonard, and it took a long time and a space anomaly causing amnesia for us to become a couple. It' s crazy, but I think that's totally us. As I said recently - I'm actually glad that we lost our memories temporarily. That incident silenced reason and I could listen to the voice of my heart. We didn't know who we were, but felt our connection and love. The mind may forget, but the heart never will. We are forever. I know it." She squeezed his hands and blinked away the tears of joy forming in the corners of her mind. "Bones, you're my best friend and my true love."

Leonard smiled at Jamie and took a deep breath. "I think there are not really words that can describe how much I love you. I never was a man believing in fate. But meeting you that day about four years ago in that shuttle must have been exactly that. Looking back - I probably fell in love with you right there and then. I was a long time in denial and then I didn't want to risk our friendship. We both did." He let out a short laugh. "I always said I never wanted to get married again - well, I guess I was there in denial, too. I wanted this for a long time - marrying you, a future with you. I can't put in words how happy I am. I will never let you go."

A loud sobbing sigh made the guests chuckle. Eleonora McCoy was barely able to hold back her tears and clasped some tissues.

Pike smiled. "Jamie Tiberia Kirk, do you take Leonard Horatio McCoy to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Jamie beamed. "I do."

"Leonard Horatio McCoy, do you take Jamie Tiberia Kirk to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Leonard looked into Jamie's eyes. "I do."

The admiral's eyes wandered to the guests. "I guess we can skip the question if anyone has something against the union of those two. Wouldn't stop them anyway." He winked and those words earned him approving chuckles.

Pike nodded to Joanna and she stepped forward presenting the rings.

Jamie took the bigger band and slid it on Leonard's right hand. "With this ring I thee wed. As this ring has no end my love is also forever."

Leonard picked up the second wedding band, put it on Jamie's right ring finger and spoke the same words. "With this ring I thee wed. As this ring has no end my love is also forever."

"By the power vested in me by Starfleet I now pronounce you husband and wife", Christopher Pike said.

But before he had the chance to say more Leonard had already his arms around Jamie's waist and his lips on hers.

"Okay, just go ahead", Pike gestured and chuckled.

The guests laughed and cheered.

Leonard and Jamie let finally reluctantly go of each other and Joanna fell around their waists. Leonard picked her up and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Joanna smiled brightly at her father and Jamie. "I'm happy that you married Daddy."

Leonard winked. "Me too."

His new wife just smiled and gently stroked over Joanna's cheek. He eyes found her husband's again and he let Joanna down again.

Jamie leant forward sliding the right hand with her wedding band into Leonard's neck pulling him into another kiss. Yeah, she was also happy having married him.


End file.
